Ashley Marie Farmer’s book Dear Damage lives up to its title right from the start. In the opening paragraphs, Farmer reveals the intense personal “damage” that has affected her family, recounting the heartbreaking story of how her grandfather tragically took the life of her grandmother before attempting to take his own. Sharing this story is not easy for Farmer, but she feels compelled to explore the pain and trauma in her writing.
The book delves into various themes such as sacrifice, love, and the aftermath of trauma, connecting them through Farmer’s intimate recollections. While one might expect a deep dive into the ethics of euthanasia given the circumstances of her grandparents’ story, Farmer takes a broader approach, touching on a range of personal experiences including marriage, divorce, gun violence, body image, and her struggles as an adjunct professor.
In her essays, Farmer skillfully weaves together different narrative styles, from standard prose to dialogue-heavy scripts that add a haunting dimension to the storytelling. Conversations with her deceased grandparents bring them vividly to life, humanizing them in ways that resonate with the reader.
The collection, while not always tightly cohesive, is united by Farmer’s unique perspective and her ability to draw profound insights from everyday moments. She resists offering easy answers or clichés, instead embracing the uncertainties of life and finding beauty in fleeting experiences, much like the blooming tulips outside her window.
